iBROKE

           About a week ago, I was getting some work done in our student center with a friend.  When I asked my friend what he was about to do, he said that he was about to fix the screen of our associate pastor’s phone.  Marcus’s phone had been shattered for quite some time, and while the phone was still able to be used, the ability to see things clearly on the screen was crippled.  When my friend said he was about to fix it, I immediately said that I wanted to watch (I have always wanted to know how to take apart and reassemble an iPhone).

As we got into the process of repairing this phone, I began to see that in order to fix that one part of the phone, the entire phone had to be first deconstructed.  Each and every part that went in to form the iphone had to be taken apart, piece by piece.  Every single tiny screw and vital parts such as the camera and the computer inside the phone had to be removed.  As I continued to watch my friend take out every individual piece of the phone, I realized how meticulous he had to be.  Not ONE piece of the phone, not ONE screw could be lost.  It had to be handled with an extreme amount of care.  About 30 minutes into the process, I made a comment to myself, “Gah, this is such a process,” and as soon as I said those words, I heard the Lord ask me a question in my spirit. 

He asked, “Don’t you see that I’m taking you through the same kind of process right now?”

WHAT?!? I was just not expecting a question like that, but suddenly, things started to make a little more sense in my head.  In my life lately, the Lord has been taking me through a process, and with that question, He answered so many questions I had about the nature of the process He has been taking me through.

In my life, my screen is cracked.  Am I still usable with a broken screen? Yes. But can I be used to the fullness of my calling with a broken screen? No.

In my situation, I knew for a little while before the process started that my screen was cracked, but I got busy with other things and did not tend to the issue (in blatant terms, I was avoiding it at all costs).

Well, let me tell you something that I have learned: the Lord I serve does not let things stay broken for too long.  When I did not tend to my broken screen, He did.

Now here is the misconception: People see phone screens that are cracked and broken and they think, “Hmm, that’s just a surface level break, I can take that to someone to fix or even fix it myself (if you are a person who thinks you can fix it yourself, God bless you.  Now that I’ve seen it done, I would never want to try it on my own) and it will not be that complicated at all.” This was my perception of a broken phone screen, and you know what? That was FALSE… much like my perception of the broken screen in my life! I thought, when the Lord started the process of fixing my broken screen that it was just going to be a quick fix, and can you guess what? That was FALSE.

When the Lord began the process that He’s taking me through, I did not see what was coming at all. I did not realize that in order to fix my broken screen that He had to take out every tiny little screw, hinge, and piece of hardware in me that makes me the person I am.  I did not realize (yet) that what I thought was a surface level break, was actually a foundational crack.

And boy was it a surprise to me when I realized just what this process entailed… and in the moment, I cannot say that it was a pleasant surprise.

But here is the THING, here is the HOPE, here is the LOVE and the BEAUTY in the process that that so many times I perceive to be ugly:

I am being constructed by the ULTIMATE Creator.

I am being recreated in a process  orchestrated by the One who knows my inner parts, by the One who knitted my together in my mom’s womb.

Who better to take me through this deconstruction, repairing, and reconstruction process than the One who created me in the first place?

              With each screw that comes out, there is pain and brokenness and often humiliation, but when the Lord strips it all away and reaches the foundation, the broken screen, that for so long I thought was merely a surface deep scrape, and He begins to pry each piece of broken glass from the core of who I am, there is miraculous healing that comes.  The healing that comes is from the only One who can truly take me apart because He is One who originally knitted me together.

I have not reached the end of this process, but I am promised how it will end:

I am an overcomer in Christ.  (Romans 8:37)

All things work together for my good because I love Jesus. (Romans 8:28)

I am God’s MASTERPIECE and he makes me new in Christ. (Ephesians 2:10)

               …if I was going to let anyone take me through this process, should it not be the One who considers me His MASTERPIECE?

               At the end of the process of putting that phone back together last week, you know what the outcome was?  A phone that was able to be used to its full potential.  A phone with not only no cracks, but not even a scratch in sight.  A phone, which after the process was finished, had not a screw, hinge, or piece of hardware missing.  The finished product was a phone that was, once again, ready for use.

              I know that I am fighting a winning battle.  I know that I am fighting from victory and not for it.  And I know that as meticulous as the Lord has been to remove every tiny screw in me and every shard of glass that pierced my heart, He will be just as meticulous in putting it all back together.